I feel like I have an infant in the house again. Josh is awake for several hours now, but he takes at least two naps during the day and is restless most of the night. He is finally starting to feed himself again, but he only eats small amounts every few hours. He had a few bladder accidents this week and, although we've cleaned the carpet once, we're having to clean it again. Just like when he was an infant, I'm tired all the time and constantly on alert to his needs, even when he's asleep. We just celebrated his 13th birthday and I find myself mourning the loss of my hopes and dreams for him once again. That's something most people wouldn't understand, unless they have a child with special needs. We're asked all the time, "What do you want for Joshua's future?". That's become a cruel question to my heart....how can I even imagine a future when I don't know what tomorrow will hold? I have so many hopes and dreams for him, but I feel like I'm setting myself up for hurt and disappointment.
We had a good morning and he's napping now. We're considering trying to get him to go to the pool this afternoon in an effort to get his muscles moving. He's been so sedentary for several months now that he's lost a lot of muscle tone. Again, who knows what the future holds....
God Bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment