Wife told me I needed to get my daughter some windshield time. So this morning we went driving through the neighborhood. I had asked Paula if she would rather do it as we knew Joshua was awake. She said no of course because I think she wanted me to get some outside time. Though she says its because I am the trainer of record.
After about 25 minutes of driving close to the house I sent her a message asking how things were going. The response I got was "COME HOME". We rushed home as fast as we could with our new driver behind the wheel. We were only about three Texas blocks away. I came in to find the boy on his bed with his wrist bands on and my wife in our room holding her waist and head. She said it only lasted about 5 minutes but was very intense. She got scratches and he grabbed anything he could get his hands on.
It was against my better judgement. We know not to let our guard down and right now we are in a state of emergency guard so to speak. I had resolved not to leave the house until he was more stable before today. Now that resolve will have to overrule anyone's demands that I do so. The safety of my family, all of them is first. I hate that there are things I can not do with my family like drive with my daughter or even go to the grocery store. Recreation for the family and dates for my wife and I for now are a thing of the past.
i understand this hardship, there are a few things you can do to help your wife, besides teaching her restraint/self defense for those events. install a double barrel lock on his bedroom door. we know a lot of the time when they are going to explode, she just has to get him in there and lock the door. if you put locks like this on every door then she has a chance to get away and lock herself out of harms way. its hard when they are trashing your house, we found out that things he placed in higher value he wont break. if its important to him it always survives.
ReplyDeleteMaria, I appreciate your concern, but I don't think you do understand. First of all, without giving you my resume, I've worked professionally with children and adults with disabilities (physical and mental) for the last 19 years. I've been certified in restraint throughout my career and continue to recertify every year. I taught Bryan the appropriate use of non-violent physical restraint and we are very effective when we're together. The goal of restraint is not to contain his behavior, it's to keep him from harming himself or others. If we were to lock him in his room, he will hurt himself. I could care less what he destroys. We can replace damaged items, as we've done many times in the past. But we can't replace our son. He will break anything when he's in a violent rage because he has absolutely no thought of reality. Simply put, locking him in his room would be negligence. On this particular occasion, I was able to restrain him very briefly, get him back under control, and leave him "hiding" under his blankets on his bed. I consider it a successful intervention. Every one of these kiddos is different, so if you've found something that works for you, that's great. God Bless, Paula
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